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Steven Goodwin [opinions]

Save time – Buy a hard drive pre-loaded with porn!

fsmsh.com/2152 [hardware]

A new hard drive manufacturer, Sextor, is entering the market (pardon the pun!) by pre-loading all of it’s 120+ gig drives with porn and music MP3s to save users the time and effort in downloading them.

The announcement, made earlier today, says that Sextor will be providing pre-loaded drives as from October 9th 2007 in three different flavours, general porn, MP3s, and TV shows. A spokesman commented on the decision.

We are providing a general porn version because, according to trials that concluded on March 10th this year, people are not keen on going into their nearest computer stockist and asking for “a 250 gig of anal.” So we are instead including a general selection that has been carefully categorized, and sub-categorized, into genre and sub-genres. We’ve had a team working on this around the clock for the last month, to eliminate embarrassing mistakes. It was hard work, but we did it.

In contrast, the MP3 version of the drive will be sold according to genres, and many major record stores have asked to stock them. With some labels now looking into selling music on USB memory sticks, this can only be the next step. The larger size allows DVD- and HD-quality videos, too.

When asked about the infringement of the artistes rights to complain or comment on this new format, a spokesman for the IRAA said, “We are a very reasonable organisation, representing the record companies. If they want to sell their artistes music in this format we will support them.”

The finally variety of drive is the TV show disc, that includes complete seasons of your favourite shows. By doing this, Sextor are eliminating a massive market share from several bittorrent sites. One owner, who requested to not be named, said,

No one’s downloading from us anymore. We’re losing money! If we can’t get some original content soon we might have to close down, because no one clicks on our porn ads while downloading a Debian iso.

The choice of TV show was governed by the Sextor MD, Ger Cha Yeet. He said that trials had included the complete collection of Lost, including the final season. But customers returned them saying the last episode was missing since the story never concluded. We consequently switched to 24.

Sextor can be contacted at 61441 April Drive. Montana.

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